the kansas city dispatches

These records were collected and transcribed by one Dr. Mooney II during her free time between games in an attempt to bring light and understanding to the strange events of season 23.

The original copy of these records was found on a mobile recording device attached to an in-ear microphone found at the site of the incineration of one Jon Halifax, in the Polyhedron on day 63, season 23.

It is assumed that these records were recorded by Halifax, but as the recordings were found after his death, the resemblance between Halifax and the person narrating these records cannot be confirmed.

CONTENT WARNINGS

References to Dark Seattle/the Mirrorverse (a dystopian alternate dimension), cartoon violence, comedic discussion of a character who is a very incompetent assassin, Blaseball-typical incineration lore.